An Old Friend

I am not one to write about sad things, but today, I feel the strong need to, maybe to help me grieve. I have had a heavy heart since 1:30 pm last Thursday when I realized that it was finally time for my little Reebok to move on to a more restful place. His little body was causing him so much pain from the inside out. For 13 years he has been by my side, long before Chris or the kiddos were in the picture, my shadow and my loving companion. Greeting me at the door each time I arrived, chasing squirrels endlessly along the back fence, licking the tears from my face when I was so sad, and jumping all over me when I was happy. I even miss him licking the lotion off my legs each morning, gross I know, but he still did it every day no matter how much I scolded him. He hogged the bed each night, snuggling under the covers with Chris and I, and even in our king sized bed could find a way to take up way more room than any 14 pound dog should.

It is amazing to me how lonely the house feels without him. The jingle of his collar coming to look for me, his little body lying at my feet wherever I sat, his stuffed wooly "baby" lying on the floor of our bedroom waiting for him, his leash hanging on a hook behind our bedroom door. You don't really realize how many reminders there are of your doggie until he is gone from you life.

The last few hours of my time with Reebok was spent with him resting in my lap. His gentle little body lying across my lap, letting me stroke and pet his soft little fur, a ritual that had occurred almost everyday for the last 13 years, it was just that this time he peacefully went sleep for the last time. All the while, I bawled my eyes out then and have cried a lot over the last several days.

I know, he was just a dog. Not a human, not my child or sister or parent or husband or even long lost relative or friend. But he was my dog, my companion and my friend. Some might not understand my saddness, others will. Time will help me feel better, I know the pain won't be so raw forever, but I don't think I will ever stop loving or missing him, even though he was a dog, he was my dog, my puppins', my Reebs', my Reebok. So thankful am I that I got to experience such a devoted companion as Reebok for 13 years....